i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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