i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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