My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
