marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
