ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
