He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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