he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
