Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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