Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am available for nakedness
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
