Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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