i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
