So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
