God gave him joint rollers for hands
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
