Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
