bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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