my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
