I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
