i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
