I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
