yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize