There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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