We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
