$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
