Non-Jews are for practice
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
