Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
