Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
