dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
