Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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