I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
