pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
