We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my liver is dry heaving
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
