Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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