What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
