I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
