Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
