I hate all girls vehemently.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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