its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
