At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
