But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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