so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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