You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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