he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
