Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
