just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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