Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
