yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
