Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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