batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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