I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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