just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i out mim tonsoeep
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