sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
