I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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