she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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